| Friday, September 29, 2006 |
| Bad Habits Are Hard to Break |
I used to have a bad habit of nail biting when I was young, but once I got to college it stopped and I would only bite them when I got stressed or nervous. My nails grow really long and people are envious because I don't stylize them or anything. They go 'if I had nails like that I'd polish them, blah, blah'
I don't even put clear polish on them. I don't go to the nail salon and I only put cuticle oil on them when my sister give it to me. In short, I do nothing to my nails except not bite them and let them grow. I HATE fake nails. I can't stand them on my fingers. I got them for Prom and couldn't get them off fast enough. Never again.
The reason for this 'bad habit' post is because I do something that I don't if it's a bad habit or I'm a closet narcissist or what, but I seem to always turn a conversation about me and I don't realize I'm doing it until a little later or sometimes in the middle of the conversation then I feel bad.
Like if someone said, 'I had to spend $1,000 on a plumbing emergency' Then I'll start talking about something similar that happened to me. I didn't think about it until a friend from work was telling me something and I kept trying to tell my similar story and she said 'wait, I'm not finished' then I felt bad.
I'm trying to just ask questions and keep the story/topic on them instead of somehow turning it onto me, but it seems to be hard. And this is even funnier because I don't like the spotlight on me no way, no how. I'm comfortable yaking with close friends and relatives, but with people I hardly know I'm a mouse. Maybe this is why I keep butting in, I'm too comfortable talking. But it's not a good thing, I don't think.
Sometimes it works when you have to say what happened to you in order to help someone make a decision or something, but usually I feel it's just making the conversation about me which are not my intentions.
Okay, I'm gonna shut up now and let you guys talk. ;D
P.S. I missed you guys, hope all of you are well! I did a little blog stalking, nice to check in with you. Have a great weekend! |
Gunngirl believed The Truth is still Out There at 8:59 PM  |
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| Friday, September 22, 2006 |
| Long time no see |
It's been a long while, and I knew I wouldn't post again until the weekend. My job is still rolling downhill, suprise, surprise, and I'm still looking but I'm trying not to lose my mind in the meantime. There are some aspects of the job I like, but then other times I just feel like I can't take it anymore and I dream of relief of the day that I don't have to do the work of three people in about fifteen minutes, just the amount of time they want you to do everything
On a much brighter note, "Apolo" came back into the office today. I was totally suprised, I didn't notice him at first. I was working and he came in and I was like, 'ohhh, hi!' and even better, he came and sat behind the desk next to me while he wrote out some stuff. He joked that he 'works here now' (I WISH!) I said 'we can always use an extra pair of hands.' He laughed, I laughed, it was a lovely moment. Yes, I'm crazy. Even crazier was I held the pen he used longer than normal. Gah! I'm losing it. The job has officially made my head crack.
Then he left out of the office and there's little hallway with elevators right outside the door and I thought to myself, he didn't even say goodbye. So, when he turned to the door I waved goodbye and he said 'I'm coming back. I wouldn't leave without saying goodbye' hee hee, I said, 'Yeah, I was waiting for you to tell me bye' he smiled. hee, hee, tee, hee.
But the bad thing was that he came back and he needed a signature, but she was already gone, so then he was leaving and another guy was leaving and they were chatting and then I forgot I had some food in the fridge I was supposed to be taking home so I missed the ride down in the elevator with him. STUPID ME! Why didn't I just forget the pizza!? Ugh.
Oh well, he brighted my day and especially my Friday. Ahhh, he's such a hottie, but a cute hottie, you know? He's a cute-sexy if you know what I mean, especially since he's an Apolo-lookalike. Yum!
On a DVD note, I went a little crazy last week and bought six whole seasons of Seinfeld. Yes, I love Seinfeld that much. Season 7 just came out so I don't have that one yet. There's three more seasons to buy then I'm complete. We all need a little comedy in our lives.
Well, if I don't see you, Good Afternoon, Good Evening and Good Night! :) |
| Gunngirl believed The Truth is still Out There at 11:41 PM |
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| Tuesday, September 19, 2006 |
| Still looking... |
I have started (or continued) my job search. Sigh. I'm a little afraid to go to temp agencies because I think most are a waste of time. I said I would try to stay until January, but.... This job isn't for me, and the bad thing is, I don't know what is for me. Double sigh.
But "Apolo" came by Friday, but he was there to help someone else, but he stopped to chat and say hi and bye to me. Tee hee hee. *swoon*
I'm desperatly looking for Friday, and I'm working on my resume. I'm just wondering how long I can last before I have a nervous breakdown. Ugh.
All the rest of you enjoy the rest of your week, I might not see you again until the weekend! I'm sooooooooo sleepy and tired. But I'll try and stop by soon. Miss you! |
| Gunngirl believed The Truth is still Out There at 10:07 PM |
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| Thursday, September 14, 2006 |
| Job Stress |
I hate for every post to be a rant about my job, but today was so stressful I have to let it out. Basically, I just felt overwhealmed again. I have so much work to do, it's not even funny. I'm going to get as much work done tommorow as possible. That shitty place. They give out so much work and don't pay for overtime. It's impossible to get all that work done in 7 hours (excluding lunch)
The new Legal Secretary doesn't even take her lunches or breaks! I wonder when she eats or even goes to the bathroom.
Today that bitchy Office Manager came to my desk and asked me (Again) about what I thought about the job and to honestly tell her how I felt. ???? Okay, I'm not going to really tell the truth, what would it matter anyway? Okay, I say it's too much work for one person. So, then what? Nothing. Not that I really care anymore, but I didn't want to give her any amunition to want to let me go, though it would be a relief not to have to worry about those responsibilites anymore.
I think I need to inform them that slavery is over! WTF with all that work they give?
You don't know how bad I want to quit, but I just can't again, at least not for a few months. I don't plan on staying the year like I originally planned and my ma is backing me up. She was like 'well, just leave after a few months or leave in January like you planned and go somewhere else.'
There are some decent days, but I'm a quitter guys, as you know, but I had to learn the hard way that quitting before I have something else lined up isn't good and I just can't put myself in that situation again.
I know what your're thinking, (then quit bitching!) but I can't! It's my release! heh. I decided I'm leaving in January anyway, so I'm just going to try and stick it out until then. I need to prepare myself finanically this time, then...
I'M OUTTA THAT HELLHOLE!!
************
In other news, did you hear about Anna Nicole Smith's Son? I still don't know the whole story, but I think her died a pretty gruesome death. That's so sad because I know her son was her friend. That's so sad to me. I wonder what happened to him.
I can't wait for the premiere of Smallville. Heh, I love that show.
If I don't see you guys, HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND! |
| Gunngirl believed The Truth is still Out There at 7:22 PM |
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| Tuesday, September 12, 2006 |
| Slow moving week |
It's only Tuesday? Sheesh
Today was another shitastic day at work. I cut my year down to six months. I'm going to try and last until after Christmas, then move on. This job isn't for me, and I hate that because I was hoping to get this and settle down, it would be nice not to constantly have to move from job to job.
But I don't see myself ever really feeling good there about the work, I just don't like it. I have a question, do you think it would be okay to put a job on my resume where I've been for only 6 months? I don't think I can last longer than that! And I'd like to quit before I get fired. There's always something that I'm missing, or messed up or finding too late and it works my nerves. The office manager is so phony, pretending that I'm doing a good job. Fucking liar.
The other girl that used to work there got into it with one of the attorney's and they gave her a choice of quitting or being fired. She chose to quit because she thought it would be to hard finding another job with a 'fired' over her head. They've been giving her unemployment for months, now they're appealing it and trying to make her pay it back. WTF?
She's fighting back and may have to go to court. I hope she wins. That place is so shitty--and cheap!! She was talking about how only the secretaries would get new printers, and when the mail clerk mentioned someone's else's printer wasn't working right, she looked all serious and crazy and was like NO! just the secretaries, they do a lot of printing.
I'm standing there thinking 'me too!' but I knew she wasn't going to get me a new printer. That cheap ass company. I'm staring to hate that place more than I already do.
See you guys later! |
| Gunngirl believed The Truth is still Out There at 7:48 PM |
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| Sunday, September 10, 2006 |
| Quick Post on Hitchcock |
After I posted on Amazon.com about my search on that Hitchcock Episode a woman emailed me and said she had it and that she would copy it to a tape and send it too. Sweet! I'm pretty, pretty positive that it's the same episode, we described it back and forth to each other, so I'm taking a chance.
Back to the grind tommorow (sigh) but at least we get paid next week. That's about all I have to say today, I'm tired and I'm going to take a bath, watch some TV and chill. Hope you get to do the same.
Eerie that tommorow is September 11th. Five year's it's been. Amazing and terrible all at the same time.
Have a Mild Monday everyone. |
| Gunngirl believed The Truth is still Out There at 2:35 PM |
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| Saturday, September 09, 2006 |
| Everybody's working for the weekend |
Yesterday was a nice day (helped that it was Friday!), though I made some more mistakes that I managed to find and clean up on my own before anyone found out about them. Whew! I don't have the attention to detail for this job. Lol.
Sadly, "Apolo" didn't come back, but the printer was acting up BIG TIME! He said if it kept doing it they'd have to see about replacing it. That printer really needs to be replaced, so now I have an excuse to see him agan. Swoon.
I went to Panda Express again and it made me sick. I was sick all night, I think it's time to take a break from Panda. Yuck.
I'm still a bit queasy, so I think I'll stay home today, though I need to go the post office and Target. I'm not feeling up to it. I'll be around to check out you guys soon.
See you on the flipside! And thanks for the comments in my last post. Tee hee, they made me laugh. |
| Gunngirl believed The Truth is still Out There at 11:17 AM |
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| Wednesday, September 06, 2006 |
| Highlight of the Day |
Anyone who has been to my blog in the past will know why this was the highlight of my day. The computer guy came today because the computers and printers are wigging out (maybe because they're from 1986) but I let the office manager know that my printer was acting up, and the computer guy came by and...
He looked and sounded just like APOLO LOL! I was like, 'whoa! This guy looks like Apolo AND he really sounded like him. Man oh man, he sat on the table next to my printer and talked to me while he tested it. Hee hee. Sigh.
Okay, also today was much, much better. I needed the stress reprieve! The bad thing about this job is it really is a stress, shitty place, but there are a couple of decent days tossed in. I'm still on my year plan. If I can last, I'll leave after a year..if it starts to get too much days and days and weeks in a row, forget it. I'm out the door.
Thanks you guys for having my back. At least you sympthize and aren't like some people I know who just think you're supposed to stay anywhere and just 'deal' because it's a job. Other jobs can be found.
Have a happy mid-week Wednesday! |
| Gunngirl believed The Truth is still Out There at 6:32 PM |
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| Tuesday, September 05, 2006 |
| Another Hellish Day |
Well, today was another day in hell. First, I messed up all the time. Seriously, it was all fucked up, with mounds of mistakes, some of it was missing. I do not know how it got that messed up. She had to get three different people, including me to help fix the mess and I'm still not done, I have to fix the rest tommorow.
I don't know what to do. I want to leave, but I also don't want to leave so soon. I haven't even been there a month, but I feel so burnt out already, I feel like I've been there months or years. Everyone tells me 'It will get better" and "Just do the most important thing first." (Trials)
I understand that, but it's not helping. On some days I feel like I don't care about going in there and telling her I'm giving my notice, and on other days I feel like I should stick it out a little longer, just because I pretty much just started.
I'm so stressed and overwhealmed. I feel my attitude and mood changing. I don't mind working, and I don't want it too seem like I'm the only person in the world who has a lot of work to do, but not only do I not think I'm the type of person for this job, but I blame them too. It is just too much for one person.
To get 3-5 status memo's (3-8 pages each) a day, plus doing time for 3 attorney's and 10 other things and being new enough that I'm still making mistakes, how do I get it all done?
Even worse is that I have to keep stopping to ask questions because something's wrong, or not right, or whatever. ARRRRGH!
I know I'm whining, but I really think that today offically re-starts my job search.
Also, I love reading your comments, they make me feel so much better. I have to say that it is a shame that I was willing to bring work home and work in it. I can't figure out how to do it anyway, and they're on Window's and I'm on a Mac, not to mention I didn't know how I'd get into their files and whatnot. I realized it wouldn't work anyway.
But you know, I was so desperate to catch up that I really was willing to do it at home and not get paid, anything to get some of the work out of the way. I didn't want to stay too long after 5pm because she doesn't want me to (doesn't want to pay overtime) though she would have too, but I know she'd say something if I started staying late.
When I'm still working at 5pm everyone is all, 'Girl, go home, it's time to go' I wish I could say, 'Well, whatever doesn't get done by 5pm waits until tommorow' but I can't feel like that because I know tommorow they'll be more on top of that and when do I catch up? It's easy for them to say not to worry about it.
I wish I could talk to her about the workload, but that's in the job description (which I didn' t know when hired). They won't change that.
I think I'll just look for something else and just leave when I find something. |
| Gunngirl believed The Truth is still Out There at 5:31 PM |
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| Monday, September 04, 2006 |
| Back to the Grind |
I hope everyone had a lovely weekend. Mine was pretty nice. I am back to the Dungeon tommorow. Yes, that is my nickname for my job. As High Desert Diva suggested, I am going to try and get into a profession of working with animals, that is what I have always wanted to do anyway.
My plan for this job was to stay a year and pay off my debt like crazy in the meantime, but I might have to shorten that to 6-8 months. If I could just catch up I'd be okay, but I never seem to have enough time to get everything done. I seriously thought I was going to have a nervous breakdown last week, I was SERIOUSLY considering just walking out. The work seems like it comes on a conveyor belt or something, I mean god, can't they see how much work that is for one person constantly interrupted by phones, clients and mail?
I really am trying to figure out a way I can do some work at home, but I don't know how because everything is on their computer. I'd be willing to do it on my own time, unpaid, just to catch up. Sheesh. I am really wondering how to do some work at home. This is ridiculous. I wish I could just not go back, but I can't this time. I will quit a job in a minute if I don't like it, but it took me too long to find this one, I can't up and quit like that this time.
I just want to stay here long enough to use on my resume. Know what I mean, does that make sense to you? This job doesn't pay enough for the stress.
Anyway, I'm done complaining. heh. Thanks for listening! Have a great week everybody! |
| Gunngirl believed The Truth is still Out There at 4:59 PM |
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| Friday, September 01, 2006 |
| Chill Out |
I just had to wish everyone a nice weekend. I will try to enjoy mine, but the work waiting for me at work keeps looming. I felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown today, it was like someone dumped a bucked of papers over my head. They just won't stop coming and I can only work so fast.
I'm still working on August stuff and it's now Sept. With Sept stuff coming in. I feel like crying. Even worse, a friend of mine got fired yesterday. She was there four months. That shitty firm. I don't know why they hire these new people and give them so much IMPORTANT work and so little training and expect them to become experts with no mistakes. They're assholes for that.
Anyway, I am so tired, I was up at 5am because I went to work early, and it didn't make a bit of difference. I'm still behind. I can't catch up. Did I say I feel like crying? This is why people go the office and shoot everyone. Ugh.
My grandma's birthday is tommorow, she's 101. Can you believe that? And she still won't slow down, always has to be doing something, which is bad because she keeps falling down.
I gave the young homeless couple that sits outside of Sears some money and some cat food for their kitten. That kitten is allways sleeping, I hope she's not unconcious from malnutrition. heh.
Again, enjoy the weekend! I'm gonna try and get some sleep! |
| Gunngirl believed The Truth is still Out There at 11:32 PM |
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